


No Hope for Salvation (Kept Me from Sin)

by galactic_roses



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, hand holding, implied PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galactic_roses/pseuds/galactic_roses
Summary: Collins seeks help in the sickbay, and he’s lucky that Goodsir is there.For the Terror Bingo prompt “sickbay”
Relationships: Henry Collins/Harry D. S. Goodsir
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	No Hope for Salvation (Kept Me from Sin)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from “No God” by The Dear Hunter

Harry Goodsir felt at home in the sickbay, even amongst ailing men, some coughing and some dozing fitfully in their hammocks. The ship’s timbers creaked and groaned, the sounds mixing with those made by the ill, but the assistant surgeon hardly noticed. He was absorbed in his journal. His fingers ghosted over the sketch of an insect on one page, and he smiled faintly as he read the description. Though the arctic ice pack was beautiful in its own way, nothing there seemed alive. Nothing but the men and animals aboard the two ships that were trapped in the pack. He sighed.

Soft, tentative footsteps, not the quick, businesslike strides of Doctor Stanley, approached, drawing Goodsir’s attention away from his journal. He looked up, then removed his spectacles and allowed a small smile tweak his lips.

“Good evening, Mr. Collins, can I help you with something?”

Henry Collins blinked several times, shifted nervously, then licked his lips.

“I— …yes,” he finally admitted, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke.

“Please, sit,” Goodsir said immediately, rising from his own chair and gesturing toward the seat on the other side of the small table. “Is it pain? In your head? Stomach?”

“I do have a bit of a headache, doctor, but that’s not— ”

Collins broke off and swallowed. He hesitated for a moment, then sat in the chair that Goodsir had waved to.

“Something for the headache, then?” Goodsir asked. Collins shook his head. Goodsir paused then, and took a better look at the other man.

Collins looked… unsettled. Unwell. His face was pale, sweat beading on his forehead, and his hands trembled slightly in his lap.

Uneasy, Goodsir took a step closer and placed a worried hand on the man’s forehead. He felt no fever, only clammy skin.

“Doctor, I—” Collins swallowed again, then ran a shaking hand over his face. He glanced over as Goodsir sat again, then he stared into his hands.

“I can’t sleep,” he finally managed. He looked back into the doctor’s worried face, and Goodsir felt a slight chill run down his spine. Something in the man’s eyes was… wild. Frightened.

“We— we have a tonic for sleep, let me—”

Before he could rise again, Goodsir was stopped by an iron vice of a hand closing around his own. The palm was chilled and sweaty.

“Please, would you— it’s not the sleeping, really it’s… it’s the dreams.”

It sounded as if it pained Collins to admit what had been keeping him awake.

“Dreams, Mr. Collins?” Goodsir asked, puzzled. Shaking his head again, Collins met Goodsir’s gaze. His eyes were haunted, deep purple circles hanging just below them like crescent moons.

“Would you tell me about something… nice?” he whispered. “Something interesting? About anything other than… water.”

The tremor in his voice was audible even through the whisper. Though the request was a bit odd coming from a sailor, Goodsir’s heart went out to the man who still gripped his hand like it was a lifeline, and he complied. Keeping his voice soft, he spoke of his brother, John, and how the two of them had been working to write and compile information on anatomy and pathology before Goodsir had been recruited to join the expedition. As he talked, Collins watched him with unerring attention. His grip on Goodsir’s hand began to slacken, and his breath began to come more slowly and steadily. Goodsir continued to speak quietly until the panicked look had all but disappeared from Collins’ eyes.

“Are you feeling a bit better, Mr. Collins?” Goodsir finally asked. The man jerked, apparently startled out of a daze. He blinked, then nodded slowly, and let go of the doctor’s hand.

“Would you still like a tonic for sleep? It may help.”

Collins took a deep breath.

“I don’t see any harm in it,” he rasped.

Goodsir stood and poured him a dose of the tonic, which he tipped back without complaint, despite the bitter taste.

“If you feel well enough, you should try to rest. You will feel better after a night’s sleep,” Goodsir said, smiling gently. Collins stood, and suddenly reached out to grasp the doctor’s hand in both of his. For a moment, his presence was nearly overwhelming, his sturdy form filling the small room even more than Goodsir thought was possible. He was close enough that Goodsir could smell his sweat, the wool of his jacket, and even detect the faint bitterness of the tonic’s herbs on his breath. For a brief moment, Collins looked deep into Goodsir’s startled eyes, his gaze flicking back and forth, then he briefly squeezed the hand between his own.

“Thank you, doctor,” he whispered. A moment later he was gone, vanishing through the door that led to the rest of the ship. Goodsir rubbed the hand that Collins had held, unsure of what had just happened, but worried nonetheless. His heart twisted in his chest as he remembered the wild fear in the man’s gaze.

Letting out a sigh, he sat and returned to his journal, but he couldn’t focus. The look in Collins’ eyes worried him nearly as much as the symptoms of some of the other illnesses the men had been displaying.

He would have to keep an eye on Mr. Collins. It was his duty to help care for the health of the crew, after all. Absently running his fingers over the hand that still tingled from Collins’ touch, he sank deep into his thoughts, and the sounds of the ship once more became muffled in his ears.


End file.
